Drag Pointers

Dear Butch,

I have been to a number of drag shows, that number being well into the hundreds.  I am a drag junkie.  After attending a whole slew of shows in the recent months, I thought a little of my knowledge may need to be passed along to those who strap down and pack up…

1. If you are wearing dress pants, a dress shirt, and some kind of accessory (be it a vest, tie, etc) please make sure that you are well polished.  Add a belt, don’t wear crappy basketball sneakers.  Converse on the other hand could totally work.  Put a little effort into your look and I will slip you a few more dollars.

2. I understand that not all drag kings want to rock a short hairstyle.  However, if you are going to do drag make sure that you find a stylish way to hide your locks.  Use a baseball hat or a fedora.  Have someone give you a 360 before you head out, because loose long locks hanging out of the back ruin the image you are trying to present.

3.  I love hip hop and top forty tunes, but for the love of (insert your religious and/or spiritual high power here), please look beyond Justin Timberlake and Nickleback for your performance songs.  I would love to see a king belt out “Everlong” by the Foo Fighters or “Punkrocker” by Iggy Pop.  Dig into the classic swing scene, the nineties grunge era, or even a little modern Mumford and Sons.

4.  When you perform, please do more than grab your non-existant chest and sway back and forth “seductively”.  Dance, swoon a lady in the audience, or even get into dramatic hand gestures.  I want to be entertained, I want to be convinced, and I want to feel like you worked just as hard on your routine as the queen who was up on stage before you.

5.  If you are going to pack (and please do!), please make sure that it is safe and secure.  I don’t want to see your man bits coming lose and moving across your lap or down your thighs.  And speaking of pokey-ness in your pants, please remove all items from your pockets…this includes your cell phone.  This is why femmes are around, to provide a safe place (i.e. our purse) for you to place your personal belongs during a performance.

Love,

Femme

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