Baby Talk

Dear Butch,

I was sitting in my office yesterday wondering if my angry cramping uterus was actually attempting to escape my body when my co-worker appeared at the door with her three-month old daughter.  As I was holding the little lovely lady my cramps instantly stopped.  I turned the baby back over to her mom and the cramps returned immediately.  I texted you with great humor about what had happened and you made a joke about how it was a sign that I was ready to have babies of my own, ready to have babies with you.

I have worked with children my whole life.  They love me, proven fact.  I love them, proven fact.  I have not meet a child yet who does not find me completely approachable upon first meeting and within minutes I become their new favorite play friend.  But, I question if I will be a good mother.  If I have the love, courage, and patience for such an enormous responsibility.  Would I be able to provide emotionally, spiritually, and physically?  I worry that my extreme lack of self-confidence and short toes will be passed on along somehow either through DNA or the signing of adoption papers.  Or that I would crack under the pressure of trying to balance an infant, a partner, my job, our larger families, our friends, my volunteer work, and finding time to shower.  And, there is no internship for motherhood.  Just a very large trial by error, and I never want to make an error when it comes to children.

I don’t know what is worse, the cranky uterus or the head spin your joke caused.




2 thoughts on “Baby Talk

  1. Femme, I think your a natural. You know, there is science behind what happened. We femme folk make a chemical in our bodies when we experience a little baby luv and it affects our uterus, shrinks it. No joke. But you probably already knew that…. maybe you could rent a baby for that special time of the month? Happy V day Femme

  2. I think we all worry about these things. I didn’t even consider it a possibility that I might be a ‘dad’ to someone at some point – thinking that as I was gay I could skip that bit. It doesn’t help that the friends of mine who are lesbian parents have split up recently, and others had such bad post natal depression they tried to murder their partner!

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