Slightly Jealous

Dear Butch,

Your wedding is number five out of the seven weddings I am attending this summer.  And as you know, yours is the one I am most excited about.  We have been closest of friends for almost a decade.  I never thought you would settle down (or remove a facial piercing, grow out your teal blue mohawk into a conservative bob, wear jeans without holes, etc.), but you surprised me last year with a picture text with your ring and the words “Don’t faint, I am not there to catch you”.

Your upcoming mariage, your partner, your undying love for eachother makes me a little green with envy.  I am of the age where every other posting on my Facebook feed is about an engagement, a baby, or a new house.  I am no where close to achieveing any of these three feats.  I have been in a long string of unsuccessful relationships.  My doctor reminded me last week during my annual physical that I have entered the peak of my child birthing years.  And I live in a studio apartment that is a mere 400 square feet.

Several of our friends are moving through the stages of adulthood, just as you are.  There are grand celebrations at each accomplishment and I love being part of each one.  I adore our group of friends and am truly so happy for all they have achieved.  However, I feel like I am stuck at the start of a board game and keep picking up the card “Lose Your Turn”.  I just can’t seem to jump start my dreams.

How did you do it?  How did were you able to find a partner, start a family, and buy a farm?  How can I be as lucky as you are?




One thought on “Slightly Jealous

  1. I don’t think we’re ever satisfied when we compare ourselves to other people.
    But I understand completely,
    one of many butches probably reading your blog.

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