Toy Shopping

Dear Butch,

I hate online clothes shopping.  I am pretty particular about what I wear and think that one builds a relationship with an item of clothing.  That relationship should not start online.  This initial mode of “getting to know you” has worked for me several times with butches, but often fails when it comes to garb.  I want to feel the material against my skin, see where the lines compliment and clash with my curves, and prance around to see how the fabric moves.

I have this same hatred for every single strap-on I have met that was purchased by online by a butch.  They have been ill-fitting or not proportionate, which causes an awkward sexual adventure.

I know that sex toy shopping can be extremely embarrassing for some.  There is the run and duck into the store, hoping that a gossip happy co-worker or a conservative family member didn’t see you as they happened to be driving by.  And, then there are the employees.  I have met some wonderful individuals who are pro-all sorts of genders and anti-pushy.  They are there when you need them and dusting anal beads when you don’t.  But, on the other side of the spectrum there are those who attempt to shove a sale down your throat and repeat at an almost car commercial decibel every comment / question that you barely get out at an audible whisper.  Factor in the other patrons of the store (that you can only assume must be judging you), the environment of the store itself (sketchy lighting, 70’s color scheme, cheesy porn music) and it is all enough to send even the toughest butches running.

But, this can all be prevented.  Insert your supportive, friendly, caring femme into the mix.  Yes, your femme can be your favorite accessory when picking out your new state of the art silicone cock.  Our comforting aura and witty sense of humor will help guide you through the land of harnesses, rings, and dildos.  We may not be an expert at the strap-on itself, but we tend to know our partners (almost) too well and can help finish your questions to the store clerk when you find yourself stumbling.  We will stand by you as you decided if you prefer leather or nylon webbing, help tighten all of the buttons and whistles, and make kinky suggestive comments as you are shyly standing in the middle of the store with a dick bobbing between your legs that will quickly help cool your all over body flush.  Plus, we will be right with you so you can try out your new toy right away.  Even though we are both adults, I know you cant wait to rip open the packaging and play.

I am free Saturday evening, want to go on a shopping date?

Love,

Femme

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