Pressure-less O

Dear Butch,

There are several moments in the life of a femme when she feels incredibly pressured.  At the office when trying to please a cranky and over analytical supervisor.  At the bar when a good friend gets trashed and confesses they have always had a crush on you and thinks the two of you should go on just one date to see if there is chemistry.  At the department store trying to walk away from a pushy saleswoman and a cute pair of heels that are hard to walk in.

There is one place we should not be pressured.  In the bedroom, about twenty minutes into a great romp with you, our favorite butch.  We all know this moment, the moment where your femme should be exploding into an Earth shattering orgasm.  After all, you have worked hard to please her but she hasn’t cum yet and you are starting to give all the signs that you are getting a bit sore and would possibly like to catch the weather before the evening news ends.  The thrusts or flicks become less teasing and more purposeful.  There is a lot of shifting of the hips or neck.  And phrases like “I can’t wait for you to fucking cum” or “Is everything okay?  Am I doing it right” starts sputtering out.

Yes.  Everything you are doing is perfect.  But sometimes, we just can’t jump that last hurdle.  The female orgasm, as we all know, is not just a physical reaction to a stimuli.  There is the whole mental aspect.  One passing thought can take us out of the moment.  A sick pet.  A funny noise coming from our car.  A fight with a friend.  We can go from 0-60 during foreplay, but if there is just one nano-second of distraction then we can slow down just as fast.  Add to that your signals that you were kind of hoping to already be cuddling at this point and things go from bad to worse.  Then the mental distraction becomes “What is wrong with me?  Why haven’t I cum yet?  Is my butch getting frustrated?  Fuck, she is.  Alright, think of something sexy.  Missy Elliott, she is fucking sexy.  Wait, is thinking about another woman while having sex with my butch cheating?  Fuck, she just rubbed her neck for the fifth time.  Why can’t I cum?”

I refuse to fake two things in life: love and orgasms.  So, I am going to ask you this in the nicest way I know.  Please stop pressuring your femme and know that sometimes great sex can occur without a giant fireworks show of orgasm at the end.  Trust that if we need to change positions or need a little extra teasing, we will ask.  It is okay for us to request you to stop for a bit and please you first, not because you aren’t doing something right but because touching you is such a turn on.  And, it is okay for an orgasm not to occur but all the pleasure and satisfaction to still be there.

And Missy Elliot is fucking sexy.  Hell yeah.




One thought on “Pressure-less O

  1. I can’t love this one enough.
    I recently met a butch who bragged a bit about how important it was for her to make her partner cum multiple times, more times than she did. And finally I said “You know, not all girls can cum a million times. Not all girls can cum at all with partners. I’d like to gently suggest that you shift the focus of your sexual activity to something less goal orientated. It just makes those of us who do struggle feel self-conscious and weird.” Luckily, she took it like such a gentleman (and admitted i was right) that I still slept with her- good thing, because she *was* good at making me cum… bit if i hadn’t stood up we never would have known how awesome our sex could be.
    So yah. We don’t always cum a million times. I love to give pleasure, too, so sometimes I just want *you* to cum even though i’m a bottom. And. If you change your focus to offering pleasure, period, it can make things better all around.

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