Young Femme

Dear Butch,

I would like to invite you to pull up a chair for the femme in your life for a special edition post.  A little advice to my young in age or self-identity.  Enjoy.

Dear Young Femme,

Welcome to the fabulous world of the Femme.  I welcome you with open arms and a loving heart.  You have now joined the ranks of a very powerful breed in the queer/lesbian/bisexual world.  We are the care takers, the fashion makers, and the orgasm inducers.  We are sex and sugar wrapped in a giant Prada bow.

Your jounrey will not be easy.  Now, I am not implying that beng a femme is any tougher (or easier) then being a butch or one that does not use these words to define themselves.  Each comes with their own set of special challeneges.  The road as a femme can be filed with all things wonderful and sparkly, but it also comes with heartbreak and consant explanations.  I want you to be better prepared then your sisters before you.

Sadly, the general public has a image burned into their minds of what a lesbian looks like.  She is average height, fairly athletic, short hair (usually with frosted tips), wear masculine clothing, and sneakers.  She is rough on the edges and owns just enough cats to piss of her neighbors but not enough to be breaking any laws.  She enjoys softball, Ani DiFranco, and drives a  pick up truck.  We femmes don’t fit this  description often.  In fact, I don’t know any lesbian who fits this definition.  But, because we look “straight” we have the great joy of coming out multiple times a year…month…day.  The phrase “Yes, I am really queer.  No, I am not joking just to avoid dating your nice doctor son.” will start to roll off your tongue with an uncomfortable ease.  Having to come out of the closet several times over can be exhausting.  But, remember that each time you stand proudy as a femme lesbian helps create a broader image the the world of what a lesbian looks like.  We fight for our visibility as well as our rights and protections.

And if ever you need the support of a fellow femme, I am here for you.




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