(Just to serve as a reminder, September has been dedicated to “Ex Advice”.)
Cue Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic”.
Today, several months after I decided that we no longer functioned well in the relationship we had, we ran into each other. I had a sinking feeling it would happen as soon as I saw your status update about your plans for the day. Although the event we both were attending was very large and very crowded, I just knew that our paths would cross. I wasn’t dreading the interaction, but I knew that there was still hurt feelings on your side based on your silent treatment towards me after I ended “us”. My current fling tried to reassure me that there was no way we would stumble upon each other. She was wrong.
You had always referred to yourself as a gentleman with a solid education in proper etiquette. I thought you would have enough manners to at least acknowledge my presence. I was wrong. You made eye contact and exchanged pleasant words with everyone who I was with and ignored me completly. And, it wasn’t that you didn’t see me. I know you did, I was right in the middle of my group of friends and you talked around me as if I was just a marble statue. I even tried to make a joke and I saw you rolling your eyes at me. I know that you thought I wouldn’t catch it, but I did. I was going to tell you that you looked great and ask you about your upcoming top surgery, but you didn’t even give me a chance. The blow off was so great that I am pretty sure I received whiplash.
What I find most disheartening about our interaction today was how you once, when we were together, were disgusted by the behavior of one of my ex’s when we ran into her at the bar. My ex was acting incredibly childish and rude towards me in a small space with a lighter then normal crowd. I had to hold you back from giving her a stern lesson in proper manners. And now, you and I are no longer, and you behaved much like how she did.
I understand feeling bitter towards an ex. I get it completely. It hurts to have your heartbroken and it pains you to feel like you have failed at something so simple as having another human have romantic interest in you. And I understand why you are still upset with me. If you recall, I was also there during the breakup and I know you may find it tough to believe but I was also in pain when the dust had settled. But, we are both adults and the whole season now has passed. I wasn’t looking for a lengthy conversation with you today, or even a casual exchange a pleasantries. A simple nod in my direction follows by a “Hello” would of been nice. I think I deserve at least that after I spent almost six months sucking your dyke cock and letting you fuck my cunt.
I am really not asking for much. Just acknowledgment that I still exist.