The way you wanted to split our mutual friends during our non-amicable breakup was a bit disgusting. I never told you this at the time and I wish I had. So, I am pulling out my soapbox from the closet and climbing to the top.
I thought I had seen all of your ugly personas at that point, but I was quiet wrong. Demanding that you “got” an individual and proclaiming that I could “have” another just made me sick. Unlike cattle, friends can not be evenly divided during a breakup. Nor, should they had been treated in such a manner. Your friends, my friends, and our friends had (and still have) wonderful and beautiful minds that work in wonderful ways. They also had emotions and experiences connected to each of us as individuals that needed to be respected. They were able to decide for themselves how they wanted to continue friendships with us as a non-couple. This would of been a slightly odd process if you had allowed to it happen in an organic way, but odd in a normal way if that makes sense. But you had to open your big mouth and inform these friends that “we” (bullshit, it was all you) had decided who was on whose team, making the whole already crappy situation even more crappy with a huge side helping of awkardness.
I had never wanted to physically harm a person before you made that proclamation over dinner with these friends. At that moment, I wanted to rip your arm off and beat you with it.
So may future queers learn from your mistake. During a breakup, keep your cool. Even if on the inside you are completly loosing your shit. Dividing friends and then handing out their new roles or demanding they pick a side shows your insecurity and insanity all in one finely wrapped package. So, slow your power-trip honey. Your true friends will be there in the end, no matter whose friend they were first.
Alright, stepping down and putting away the soapbox, might go grab a burger. I have a strange craving for beef.