Sweatpants Smackdown

Dear Butch,

When going out to your favorite local drinking and dance establishment, I ask that you leave one thing at home.  Your sweatpants.

Yes, sweatpants.  The epic piece of clothing that brings you and I great warmth and comfort.  Despite their upgrade over the past ten years, from elastic cuffs and heather gray blah-ness to boot cut legs and the whole fucking rainbow of colors, it is still NOT OKAY to wear sweatpants to the bar.  Ever.  Or to a variety of other locations like on a first date or to a job interview.  It just reads sloppy and lazy.

I am not anti-sweatpants.  Wear them with pride while grocery shopping or while cuddling with your favorite lady while watching porn.  They are my go-to pants for long road trips and for covering up after a swim on a crisp evening.  But, when I want to present my best to the world in a social or professional setting, I leave the heavy cotton at home.

Plus, they make your ass look really saggy which makes this butch-butt loving lady very sad.




One thought on “Sweatpants Smackdown

  1. That’s too funny! I was so excited this morning because I put on my 1 pair of sweatpants that I wear maybe 3 times a year. Thank you for the chuckle.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s