I am not sure what happened to you after you ended our overly intense and slightly hormonal relationship. I always knew you were a bit off, a little bit kooky, and at times unstable. But, who isn’t in their early twenties?!? I chalked up these qualities to a slightly fucked up childhood and undiagnosed ADD, finding your bursts of energy refreshing…for the most part.
And then, the crazy train was derailed.
You ended us, had a complicated surgical procedure, and went bat shit crazy. Clinically crazy. Men in white coats with straight jackets crazy. And then, you and I will only ever know what happened. The phone calls, the yelling, the blame, the crying, the pleas. I cut you off until you found me again through social media.
All I want to say to you is that your words haunted me for years until I was able to shed them with the help of friends. I am sure you will claim to have no memory of what occurred during those two years, but I am here to call “Bullshit”. I only want what is best for you, what makes your heart sing, stirs the dragon within you. But, you will never be able to find those things (nor do I think you deserve them) until you are able to step aside from your ego and constant denial of ownership of bad behavior. You are not innocent and naive like Pooh Bear, and someday you are going to find your hand in the wrong honey pot and piss off a hoard of bees.
Please stop blaming and start growing.