Type: Lesbian

Dear Butch,

You recently declared to me at the bar that you are unsure of “what type of lesbian” you were.  You aren’t comfortable as a butch or a femme, but feel like you fall in the space in between.  A space, as I understand it, makes you feel insecure and uncomfortable as if you are being squeezed by the to sides to conform.  I told you then, as I will tell you again here, you do not need to fit either category.  I know that you may have taken these words with a grain of tequila salt, nodding kindly in response as your brain is screaming “But you fucking write a blog about butches and femmes you hypocritical asshole!”  It is true, the blog part…and maybe the asshole part.  I do write, live, and love the dynamic of butch and femme.

However, I do not wear horse blinds.  It just isn’t my kind of kink.

A long time ago, in a land not so far from here, I was a “Chapstick”.  I didn’t know where I fit and felt the same kind of suffocation that you currently do.  I felt lost in a sea of those who fit a clean square box.  And even though I found that I do fit in a kind-of box, a box without 90 degree angles, I am not out to put everyone else in a box.  My blog is not here to do that either.  I cater to one part of the whole dyke population.  We are a genre, a inch market.  I fit in it, you don’t, and that is okay.  It is more then okay, it is what makes me love lesbians.   Well, that and sex.  We are diverse and we are beautiful.

Be the lesbian that makes you happy.  Be the best lesbian you can be, scratch that, be the best fucking person you can be.  Don’t try and squeeze yourself in a bow tie or a pair of heels, instead flow freely between the two in a space that you create.  Present yourself as you see yourself and walk tall with pride.  Quirks and all.

You are adored, cherished, and appreciated for who you are as a person…not for a stereotype.




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