Anti-Athletic Rant

Dear  Butch,

Please do not wear your slip on athletic sandals to the bar.  Scratch the please and bold the “do not”.

And yes, I do own a pair of the sandals I am shunning.  They are navy blue with three white stripes.  They are comfortable, but they are not bar apparel.  Great for the gym shower, working in the yard, and hanging out by the pool.  However when it comes to social interactions influenced by alcohol and hormones, class it up a bit.

I understand that the warmer weather has finally arrived to many of us after a long winter.  Khaki shorts and fitted tank tops are being dusted off.  And when it comes to footwear, we want to release our toes and allow them to breathe.  In fact, I am very anti-sock and covering of my toes in general.  They love to be free to wiggle and point.  This includes evenings/wee early mornings at the bar.

May I suggest a nice pair of leather flip flops or slip on boat shoes without socks.  Comfort and style can also be found with a more wilderness strap sandal with webbing and a rubber bottom.  I would even accept a hippie style sandal.  All are a better option then the athletic sandal, which screams “I don’t give a shit”.  Even when paired with bar worthy threads, these kicks drop down your hotness level by at least 33 notches.

Give a shit and leave the stripes at home.




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