(Insert radio announcer voice here)
Want to keep the magic alive in you relationship? Want to rekindle the flame? Relight the spark? Stir the smoldering ashes?
Well, I have just the miracle solution for you! No pills, potions, or pennies involved. Yes, FREE! But, this wisdom is only being shared with the wonderful readers of “Dear Butch, Love Femme”! So gather close…
STOP FUCKING USING THE BATHROOM IN FRONT OF YOUR PARTNER!
(Back to normal tone of voice)
Really, I am not shitting you…pun intended. I am slightly old fashion and I do believe that there is a level of mystery that is required in any relationship, regardless of its level of seriousness of longevity. There are some things that should remain private. How a lady looks when she is putting on her stretchy foundation pieces. Any type of pore cleansing. And, most importantly any bodily function that involves toilet paper. To be blunt, I don’t need my other half to see me wipe the same area that he will be later sucking or licking. I also don’t need to know that my other half has fully processed the bean burrito I crafted for dinner. It isn’t necessary or desired information. I am not denying what is going on in the loo, but I don’t need to be an active participant. I want my space, privacy, and peace … and … I want you to have yours.
Unless of course you are into bathroom play as a kink, then for all means you can tell me to piss off … pun intended.