Petal Power

Dear Butch,

Have the ladies number. check.  Text daily, check.  Gone a date or two, check.  Wanting to up the ante on the flirtation, check.  Send that gorgeous femme flowers!

You may be thinking “How cheesy!”.  But the level is cheese is totally determined by the level of effort you put behind your actions.  Follow the advice below and you will be dairy free, do the opposite and you might as well lay on a bed of crackers and deli meats.

1. Before sending flowers, make sure she doesn’t have any severe allergies.  You don’t want the lovely gesture of flirtation wasted in tissues.

2. It doesn’t hurt to find out her flower type or color presence, but it isn’t required.  One of the best bouquets I have ever recked came from a butch I once had an intense flirtation with.  The flowers came with a card that included a website, which I visited and found an old fashion flower “code guide” aka the emotional sentiment behind flowers.  I then spent the next ten minutes decoding what each carefully picked flower meant, totally old fashion and feet sweeping.

3. If sending flowers to her work, make sure they are delivered on a Monday or Tuesday (of within the first two days of her work week).  That if she choose to enjoy them at work she has optimal time.  If she hates public displays of flirtation, send them to her home on a Friday afternoon (or the last day of her work week) so she can spend her weekend sniffing and smiling.

4. Go beyond the pre-determined arrangements.  If you know she loves purple, send her monochromatic arrangement.  If she talks about wanting to travel, send her an arrangement of flowers from a country she dreams of visiting.

5. Back to the card, make the words just the right level of sweet, but not cavity inducing sweet.  But not to nonchalant that she has to question the intentions.  Inside jokes are always good, they offer a sense of closeness.

So call your local floral shop (because we all love supporting small neighborhood shops) and up the fucking ante.

Love,

Femme

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