Flirting Bonus

Dear Butch,

So, I got pretty drunk last Wednesday night.  I am not sure how it all happened so fast.  I thought I was just going to sip a glass of wine as I made pies for my family’s gathering.  And then, due to my extreme level of perfectionism, got fed up.  I think I took my pie fluting frustrations out on the bottle and that was the end of that.  My wonderful intentions to wrap up November drank away.  If it wasn’t for my “T-Rex”, I am pretty sure I would have missed the post completely and left all dozen or so of you loyal readers hanging.

But I am sober now.  As I am 98% of the time, and I am here to complete my task.  My final flirting post, Knowing When.

There is a point in time my darling butch when you have to know when to walk away from a failed flirt.  I have noticed that this is a difficult task for you, being on the receiving end of a beyond dead attempt to get in my heart or pants.  Like a great sinking ship, I am on the life raft rowing away and you are screaming pick up lines from the broken boat…an uncomfortable situation for all.  And before you kick your own ass, it isn’t always your fault.  The lady may be taken, just had her heart-broken, experienced tough day at work, received bad news, not in the mood, or is out with the right company to accept your charms.  I would say 3 out of 4 times it has nothing to do with you.  Yet, many times you press on.  With the mindset that if you keep trying we will eventually crack.  And, sometimes we do.

However, when it is obvious that we are just not into you is when you need to politely back off.  A few sure signs would be: body turned away from yours, crossed arms, lack of a natural smile, turning our attention away from you, and non-conversation continuing verbal phrases that are short.  By continuing forward with flirting, you are not only crossing a fine line but also giving your breed a bad name.  I would tell you not to take it personally, but I know that is is easier said then done.  Once the lady show no interest, the situation is no longer in your control.  Don’t force your actions on her further, it causes a great deal of social awkwardness.  Most femmes (who adore your breed) will give a brave butch a chance, but when the zing isn’t there then is no way to force it to appear.   And please don’t turn into an egotistical jerk as you make your exit, proclaiming your friends that the target of your efforts was “cold hearted bitch” or a “fucking prude”.  Because, even from across the bar, we can hear you.  The best advice I can give you is walk away if you aren’t getting the results you desire.  We may eventually head over in your direction or we may walk out the door.

Either way, walk away with your head held high instead of with a black eye from crossing the line.




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