I found myself sobbing at a red light over the weekend. Like the ugly kind of crying where snot is running like a river and your face morphs into something that resembles a pug sneezing.
I had reached my holiday max.
After spending weeks buying presents, attending gatherings, being continually cheerful, baking cookies, and decorating the house I had had it. I have never been a huge fan of Christmas, it brings me intense feelings of anxiety for no reason at all. But I attempt to power through each year, and each year I end up sobbing at the oddest moment do to the weirdest trigger.
This weekend, it was my cell phone restarting itself after it got stuck mid-navigation. I was already on my way home with my vehicle packed with groceries and gifts. I no longer need the assistance of the slightly British lady telling me to turn right or merge at the next exit. But instead of turning her off, I let her tell me how to get all the way home. Mid-sentence her voice became pixelated and my phone self powered off. Totally normal, totally set me off into a wave of tears.
I am sharing this because I know I am not alone. I know I am not the only one this holiday season to reach their breaking point. And I just wanted you to know that I have all of my love during this season of materialism, competitiveness, and pressure.
We are going to make it through this, just a few more days.