Doctor Douche

Dear Butch,

There will come a time in your life that you will have to cross the stereotypical butch-femme roles and become a care taker.

Before you bust through the screen and shout at me that I am archaic and lesbian misogynistic, breathe.  I know that many butches and femmes do not follow gender roles.  That sex, gender, and nature can not be confined to boxes predetermined by a set of social dictations.  However, there are some of use that find it natural and comfortable to do just that.  I respect and honor both camps…and those who camp in between.  Please don’t scold me.

Alright, back to my point.

Everyone around me has been getting sick.  The cold, flu, and plague have been swirling around me.  I have managed to stay healthy and was proud of myself for avoiding illness.  And then, I got sneezed on by a baby and lost my perfect wellness score.  Down I went, with a cold that lead to a double inner ear infection.  When I get sick, which is rare, I really go all out.  Balls to the wall.  Pedal to the medal.  Guns blazing.  I was at home for three days, crying from pain which only lead to more mucus production.  Gross TMI, sorry.  I was beyond miserable.  My T-Rex, who was more of a nurturer before his transition, was there at my side with tissues and medication in hand.  The man who I nursed after top surgery and help weekly with interjections, was there for me 100%.

And then I heard about you.  Yes, you.  The one who walked out on her lady when she was spewing from both ends after getting a nasty stomach virus.  You, who went out dancing and told your lady to “text if you feel really bad”.  I knew you were a bit of a douche, I have known you almost two years and I am still waiting for you to greet me without a snarky remark.  I never understood how you were able to keep this relationship going, my only guess is you lady is masochist in a non-sexual way.  But it wasn’t until I ran into you on the dance floor and asked where you lady was that I realized that you really do need lessons on not only being a decent girlfriend, but also a decent human.

Lesson 1: When someone in your life is not well (physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.), you care for them.  You do everything in your power to help the healing process and provide a healthy living environment.

Lesson 2: Repeat Lesson 1 as often as needed or requested.

Pretty simple.  Stop being a douche.




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