Another storm is ahead of us. This winter has been full or blizzards and below zero temperatures. I am true to my native roots and tough out the season with the rest of my city. Bundled under bravery and a flask of whiskey, I am ready to face what Mother Nature has to offer me.
You however, my beloved Butch, are lacking in preparation.
I get that layers aren’t sexy. No one likes hat hair or having to wear bulky clothes. I hate having to change from boots to heels and then back again during the work week. However, I am warm. I have no sympathy for your breed when you put fashion before function this time of year. Don’t complain to me that you can’t feel your toes after walking through snow banks in Chuck Taylors instead of your boots. Or that your ears are frozen solid because you refused to wear a hat in the blowing snow in order to save your faux hawk.
Yes, I am giving you a pass to dress down in the name of weather. I want you to be safe from the elements, whether you are out for a few minutes or a few hours. No one is going to judge you for protecting your skin when the storms roll in. And if you are that fashion conscious, then choose winter gear with great patterns or in super fun colors.
You can’t be dapper when your dead.