Valentine’s Day gestures cannot fix a broken relationship.
Yeap, busting out a reality check without hesitation. I will back up a bit.
I have recieved several emails over the past few weeks from Butches asking what they should do for their ladies for Valentine’s Day. In my reply, I ask a few basic questions about the relationship: how long have you been together, what kind of relationship is it (romantic, sexual, long-term, etc.), rough budget, expectations of gifts, and providing other any information that might be of use. What I hear in return, along with answers to my questions, is that their relationship has been rocky as of recent.
Ding ding, red flag.
If you think that being sweet to your significant other is going to fix the wrongs in your relationship or individual behavior with overpriced roses, cheap boxed candies, and a romantic candlelit dinner in a packed restaurant. One day of hearts and Cupids will not repair hurt feelings and broken trust.
What I have been recommending is simple. Acknowledge the holiday, face the reality. One of the best gifts you can give to another is admittance of your wrong doings and a plan for the future. And then because actions are strong then words, do everything you said you would or no longer do what you said you no longer would. Keep your words without fuss or littered with excuses. Stick to the point, listen to their reaction (even when it hurts), and stay focused on what really matters…repair and moving forward.
Happy Valentine’s Day.