Head Space

Dear Butch,

My brain has been on overload the last few months and I have been exploring the idea of attending a meditation workshop.  I practice yoga, but have never really felt truly “centered” during my practice.  My body performs all of the moves I ask it to and it feels great to slowly stretch and move, but my brain never stops racing.  I feel like being in a mediate state is much having an orgasm, hard to describe and unachievable by many.

The place my head is the most quiet, the most focused on being in the moment is during sex.  Admittedly, not the first few minutes of it.  I am worrying about my scent, my breath, my skin, etc.  But when I sink down in the bed (or the kitchen counter) and my body reacts without an over-processed thought precluding my movements, is when I find the most peace.  I reach the wonderful place of submissive head space, when all that matters and deserving of my attention is what my partner wants at the moment.  My focus is on pleasing their needs (with a bratty undertone) and asking what they are demanding of me.

Many think that being a submissive is equivalent to being a “Pillow Princess”.  That we lay out waiting to be pleased.  That we have no thoughts in our minds besides our own sexual agenda. But, I can tell you that my own pleasure is the last thing on my mind when I am deep in a D/s (Dominate/submissive for those who are not familiar).  My basic instincts of pleasing an authoritative figure take over.  I no longer become considered with thoughts that clutter my brain on a regular basis.  I want to do everything in my power to feel, hear, smell, taste, and see my partner.  Nothing is going to take away from them being my bulls eye.  Submissive head space is what I require to feel like a whole sexual being, because it is the one place I don’t worry about my stretch marks, work load, or social drama.  I become confident and eager, not only in my sexual actions, but in my desire to connect my mind with my body with my soul.

Maybe I just need a Dominatrix to follow me to my weekly yoga class.




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