D/s 101

Dear Butch,

Maybe someone didn’t explain the rules.  Which, is unfortunate for you on so many levels.

When one enters into a D/s (Dominate/submissive, and not the capitalization of one title and not another is no mistake), negotions need to be made.  The Dominsate doesn’t get to just make a set of rules, then bark orders to the submissive, and expect for all their wishes become instant reality.


I am a submissive in the kink community.  Not a shock is you have been reading my blog regularly.  I like to a play on the bratty bottom/submissive side of the pool, teasing the Dominates with flashes of cleavage and a dirty mouth elegantly painted in bright red matte lipstick.  I have been kinky as far back as I can remember, although I haven’t always been with partners who shared my same love for all thinks naughty.  If I were to have to rank my kink experience on a scale from 1-10, 1 being vanilla as a cupcake and 10 as kinky as a old school phone cord, I would give myself an 8.715.

I agreed to meet you for a second time.  Our first meeting left me bored and confused and sad for my future all at once.  You had asked me out and I had said yes.  Which was probably my first mistake, I am so far from being ready to date or even fuck again, still recovering from the deep wounds of my recent breakup.  However, you were nice enough and I liked the restaurant you picked.  The first meeting was a disaster, a hot fucking mess.  But apparently you thought it went great because you continued to text and call me, and since you seemed sweet enough I agreed to go out for a second time and start negotiating a possible fling.

So when you, a self-proclaimed Dominate, approach and inquire about having a D/s summer fling with me and start off by barking orders and making demands before we even leave the restaurant on our second “date” (using that term very loosely) you shouldn’t have been shocked when I walked away.  Literally.  And it wasn’t just backing and demanding, you went right into insulting me and my character.  I may be a submissive, but I am still a human with feelings and rights, you fucking asshole.  When I asked to meet to chat about interests, limits, and arrangements; I didn’t expect to be on the receiving end of threats and intimidation.

Dominates lead with a cool confidence.  An air of complete control and admiration for their submissive.  You are a tool who likes to boss ladies around.  I don’t regret walking out and immediatly deleting you from my life.  I enjoy being bossed and tossed around in the bedroom, but I do expect to walk into that situation with a Dominate that respects my limitations and understands wheat is on and off the menu.  I really enjoy dirty talk while fucking, but you started before we even got undressed.  You hit me with words uglier and harder then any toy or impalement I have ever used during play.  The bruises you left were emotional and left me so furious.

I may be lonely, but I am not desperate.




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